I am seated at the lobby waiting to travel to Mombasa, I have been Whatsapping Angel for a few minutes now. I have saved her as Angel PS on my phone. In high school we had this guy we called Kevo PS. It was said Kevo loved watching more porn than was what allocated to him by the Porn gods. PS was an acronym for Porn Star.
Kevo never denied his involvement in pasting his eyes all over nude bodies, so to date; we still call him Porn Star and he enjoys the name the same way those guys on Coke ads enjoy drinking their Coke. Our Whatsapp interview started on Friday, and by the time it ended on Sunday I had edited the Angel PS to Angel Entrepreneur Extraordinaire.
I met Angel on Facebook. I saw her FB post where she was selling nudes, sextapes and videos through her Whatsapp. That was several months ago. I saved her number out of journalistic curiosity, and no, I did not send her kakitu to get to watch her vitus. Seriously, I’m not kidding, porn has never been my thing. So last week on Thursday I was just scrolling through my Whatsapp contacts in one of those days you’re seated in traffic bored to the ends of the earth wondering why Kidero is torturing Rongai residents with his new convoluted road. Why Kidero? Did some Rongai guy nyima you nyama?
“Sikupei hii nyama Kidesh, enda ukule nyama za Nairobi!”
“Manze Ole Pussy (there’s actually someone by that name in Rongai, and it’s not a nickname), kapiece tu”
“Ni cha hivo, si ndio? Wewe na watu wa Ronga ngoja mtanijua, haki utaniona”
and our Rongai guy between mouthfuls of sweet Rongai goat meat spit out at Kidero while pointing him with a goat’s leg “Usinitishie Kidesh, kwani utado?” Alido.
So anyway, since Angel is at the top top huko I spot her profile picture which really gets you to freeze if you are a normal man. That picture doesn’t just get scrolled; it pops at you and throws a chain around your neck. I open her profile picture hoping the guy seated next to me won’t notice my illicit views. Na hivo tu I got this idea of wanting to know her better, journalistically speaking, and that’s how I started chatting with Angel after several months of having her number.
So how did it all begin with her? As most things revolutionary, it started at her campus less than a year ago when Angel decided to venture into the business of nudity, “I began from requesting 5bob airtime from dudes who stormed my social media inbox because I was so broke by then.. They were so generous, so I decided to raise the amount to 10bob then later 20bob then I’d make an amount of 200bob airtime daily which I could sell to my fellow campus students… I was an online beggar… Then later I had an idea… I realized team mafisi, who stormed my inbox were yearning for nude pics by sending theirs to me… My nudes were on demand and that’s how I got the business idea where you’d pay 20bob for nudes and 50/- for Vids… Later the prices rose to where I am now… the men who buy a video each give me my daily income.”
Angel goes on to reveal to me that many people in her life don’t know what she does. She has a boyfriend who has remained as clueless as a doorknob concerning her business, “Yes I do (have a boyfriend) but he doesn’t know who I really am… Sometimes he asks me about Angel wa nudes not knowing it’s me” enyewe wanaume.
She has remained as elusive to the public as a dik-dik (pun intended) and our ever so hungry media have not managed to pin her down. Some few weeks ago she was even discussed on the Trend by Larry Madowo. Pulse, which is published by The Standard, described Angel as a socialite. She must be the first faceless socialite ever. She tells me that she’s a genius in keeping secrets. Her mystery and anonymity adds spice to her fairy-tale, every member of the Team Mafisi believes she’s theirs and that works all so well for her.
At this point, I’m about to board my means of transport and I mention the same to Angel. That’s when this comes in, “[7:21PM, 4-10-2015] Angel PS: I also flew back from States two weeks ago from a tour and auditions for an explicit movie shoot… The next Lupita…” at that moment I started reviewing my career choices and wondering whether Mwas and I can conduct some body biz with the Canon 7D. Someone should have told us going to Hollywood is this simple! Are the actors and actresses of Kenya taking note? Even Lupita didn’t get there that fast. So I get curious to know how much she’s worth. I mean, if she goes to Hollywood and gets the interest of a hundred hungry men everyday she must be worth some good good. So Angel lets me know that in a good day she can take home up to 100K. Sit down and take a breath. Get a napkin and cry over the hundreds of hours you have logged slaving for your employer. Unless King’angi and Maina are advertising your plots in Kitengela, you’re not taking 100K home in a day. If you were thinking of resigning from your job this is a good reason to go ahead. 100 K in 24 hours! Without even having to leave the house! All you do is just lie in bed and a few clicks later your bank account is overflowing with the gratification of raunchy Kenyans. And how much is she worth? In her own words, “1 million to be precise…” This is where I edited Angel PS to Angel Entrepreneur Extraordinaire. I wanted to send my marriage proposal to her at that minute and present a rose flower to her every day till we die. Not because I loved her body (which I am yet to see, haki!), but for her brains. Such ladies deserve a statue along a Nairobi street to remind the world what smart can do for you. By the way she told me she doesn’t offer sex, so she’s not a sex worker; don’t go to the wrong shop when you go shopping.
So what’s next for this entrepreneur? “I am about to quit this business to focus on movies now that I have the opportunity. The nudes were all about money, my passion is in acting.” Basically, hurry-while-stocks-last, is all she’s saying.
And to end it all:
[9:06AM, 4-11-2015] Njagi: If you were blessed with a daughter would you advise her to follow your career path?
[9:06PM, 4-11-2015] Angel Entrepreneur Extraordinaire: No I wouldn’t
And so this millionaire lady who is still in campus goes on to pleasure team mafisi and the entertainment world with her body of opportunities. She asked me to include her number for any of you interested in late night shows. To do that here’s her number for Whatsapp business and transactions: 0701108347