Parental Advisory- as in parents are advised to proceed with caution. Especially if you are the type that thinks your campus son/ daughter does not have sex/ party/ take alcohol/ get retakes and bad grades.
I am completing my third year in campus and as it happens when people are about to get done with a major life phase, I want to pull some crazy stunts I can always laugh about later in life. In my opinion, everyone who has gone through campus should do at least one super-crazy thing- if only to tell the story : “Once while I was in campus, I….” .
Besides, doing crazy shit give you the moral ground to tell your kids not to try this and that. You have concrete reasons because you know firsthand.
So here is a list of 7 crazy things to do before finishing Kenyatta university
- Skinny dip in the pool after midnight
This is something I actually plan to do for two reasons (a)- It is moderately easy to accomplish since there is usually no one at the gate and as long as you don’t attract too much attention with gleeful screaming, you’re on your way to having a fab after midnight swim.
(b)Also its fun! Come on! Don’t tell me the thought of swimming at night under a starry sky with the pool all to yourself is not a thrilling thought!
The worst case scenario is getting caught and if the guard is not confused by your semi-nudity, he might overreact and make it a security issue. Worst case- they harass you for a few days- they won’t expel you so?
- Experience weed
Before you go all NACADA on me, please take to the streets and call for the ban of alcohol first- then come and tell me weed kills.
For those who were looking, yeah, there is a silent code that weed is not illegal in K.U. and everyone who has a social life in K.U. knows this. Pass any crowded place on a Friday eve and trust me, you have some weed smoke coming your way.
Now, I say experience weed because I am not a fan of smoking. Weed comes in cookies too so take your pick. I think if it is just for once in your life, take weed in while in campus. Don’t ask me how- I don’t run a cartel and shit. Get to know people, half the fun is in that!
- Put porn on a loud woofer at Nyayo hostels and record passersby reactions.Nyayo is notorious for its loudness. Whether its drunks screaming or arsenal fans bitching about the game, there is always some noise of some sort. Majorly, people like to outdo each other using music and very loud woofers. I have always wondered how people would act to loud porn sounds. Will the housekeeper come tell you to turn it down? Will people be going past with embarrassed faces? I so want to see that! And get it on camera too! Hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
- Get a lecturer fired
I have two on my black list already. And no, my conscience aint frowning; she’s nodding like, “Yeah! Do something for the community”. Every campus has them; lecturers that don’t do shit and when they do, it is the kinds of shit that screws you up. Campus life is hard enough- get an asshole lecturer fired and make life better for future students! This especially goes for those chics who have been hit on lecturers in exchange for grades. Get him on record and fire the mother fucker. We can’t always be complaining that some lec is a sneaky guy.
- Act like a loon (and carry your passion with it.)
Forget paying 1000 for a marathon. Get a long t-shirt with your message on it, and run around campus in that long t-shirt alone.
Go insane for just one day and get a worthy message across while doing it- what could be so bad about that? Or if you love to dance, put some music on your earphones then dance for about 10 minutes at the shopping center when it’s full of people. Then up and leave like it wasn’t you. Come oooooon! Tear your reputation to shreds for something worthy! 😀
- Step into the shoes of the disabled person
I am yet to see an institution that tries to cater to the needs of people with disability as K.U does- with ramps in most buildings and special hostels designated for them. (Rodriguez [you will know him soon] will oppose me on this.) Have you never wondered what it felt like to be deaf/blind/crippled? Make an experiment of yourself!
Wear earplugs the whole day and do not speak at the shops when asking for things. What would you resort to if you don’t know sign language and the shopkeepers don’t know what the shit you’re talking about? Push someone in a wheelchair (that shit is damn hard) or move around in one for a whole day of classes . Such an experiment will not only force you to be creative; you will also develop a deeper sense of compassion for people with disability- as well as using your abilities better.
So you see, am not only into the illegal forbidden stuff! I have a nice side deep deep inside me! Additionally, offer to work for free in at least one K.U. film production, so that you can say with conviction, that you did something to promote Kenyan cinema. Also, get a freaking A at least once. You really can’t be that dumb!